Happy Momma’s Day! I am forever grateful to my mother, and all the amazing women in my life, for teaching me to be comfortable in my own skin, and that beauty and fashion and food are things that we should have fun with and that should bring us joy, not cause us immense anxiety. Not that I’m a Beauty Guru, but I sure am working on it. Here are some lessons I’ve learned from Wise Women along the way. The abridged version? You are just fine the way you.
Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins. As humans, we are not perfect. And we are not perfectly symmetrical. This is okay. I am somewhat obsessed with eyebrows – I love a full, natural brow with a little clean up (my unibrow is just a little too natural for me). Upkeep is important, but they are certainly not identical. The woman at the Benefit counter who waxed my eyebrows when I was 16 told me this tidbit, and it has stuck with me ever since.
You don’t draw a woman with straight lines. So this is actually a lesson from a (somewhat scary) art professor I had. I say this to remind myself that it is okay to be soft. My thighs touch. This is normal. No matter how much yoga/cardio/whatever I do, I will always have my hips. Those babies aren’t going anywhere. That’s just my body. But I also don’t like when people say “real women have curves.” Skinny women are real women, too. No need to put other people down while boosting others up. More on this thought later.
Find a Beauty Role Model. I read this in an article with Bobbi Brown when I was maybe 12. You know what’s tough? Being super short, or “too” flat, or “too” curvy, or “too” dark-haired, dark-eyed, dark-skinned, pale-skinned, freckly, curly, or anything different or interesting, and seeing nobody like you in the spotlight who you think is beautiful and also identify with. We can’t all be tall, busty, blonde California girls. And that’s totally fine. So look for the gorgeous, amazing women who aren’t that either. That doesn’t mean I can’t still have a purely superficial girl crush on Blake Lively, but she isn’t my Beauty Inspiration. Your Beauty Role Model(s) should look a bit like you in terms of coloring, and/or have the same hair type, and you should also like their style when it comes to hair and makeup. You can definitely have more than one, and look to them for different things. They can be real women in your life, too (hi, Mom!). For example, my celeb Beauty Role Model is Emmy Rossum. A sometimes-curly-haired brunette with dark eyes and full brows. Bam.
We need to stop calling women “brave” for wearing crop tops that show just a hint of belly. Thank you for this one, Mindy Kaling. I would like to point out that this is offensive on multiple levels. One, it is offensive to the “normal” sized people wearing them. I’d be like “What do you mean brave?! F**k you – I thought I looked really cute.” I love that these skirt and crop top matching combos are now a thing, and an acceptable alternative to a dress. I think they are SO adorable. They are just a sliver of a crop, and are high-waisted and high-necked and look cool and just a little different. Awesome. Two, this is offensive to every woman (and man) who does things that are actually brave. You know what’s brave? Donating a kidney. Joining the armed forces. Rescuing animals from hoarders. Quitting your job and moving across the country to pursue your dreams. There are a million ways to be brave. Wearing a goddamned crop top isn’t one of them. I think if you want to, you should wear it. And I think if you want to, you should do something brave. They are just not going to be accomplished in the same act. The words we say may be well-intended, but they do have power. So let’s stop making women feel like shit about their bodies, and let’s appreciate the people in this world who do bold, brave, amazing things.
That is all I have for you today. Go give your mom (and all mom-like people) a hug. xoxo